Photo credit: Flickr user chronic-insanity. So not my image, but a darn funny one.
Sometimes, when you return from a long trip (see: previous post), you notice that your significant other has bought Nutella. You get pretty excited when you open the cabinet, jetlagged, and see its familiar face. You take a moment to reflect on the fact that Nutella is a darn good staple food item to have around, and why haven’t you been keeping it in stock? You open the jar just to check that it’s not a sad, empty jar, and lo! your significant other hasn’t even eaten all of it. Which is pretty remarkable for any food item with cocoa in the ingredient list. (I love you, Dave!)
You’re about to take that Nutella to town, refined sugar sensitivity be darned, when it occurs to you, no. Wait. The reason why you don’t keep Nutella actively in stock as a staple food is because it becomes an expensive habit. A dollop here and there would be fine, but the problem is, Nutella always seems like a good idea, all of the time. And here’s the catch! Nutella is always good (insert Batman voice for “good”), but sometimes it is necessary. So if you eat the Nutella now, you will just pique your appetite, only to disappoint your Nutella-needing self down the road.
Thankfully, like a grown-up, you put the Nutella back on that top shelf where it is not-quite-visible-but-not-exactly-hidden. Because then, weeks later, when you come shuffling into the kitchen because your feelings are demanding that they be fed, there is your savior, right on the top shelf where you left it. You dunk your sourdough pretzels into it gratefully and reflect on how happy you are to have a roommate who is respectful enough to leave a half-full jar of Nutella just lying around, ready for your open arms.
And Dave, I’m sorry if you had plans for that Nutella, because I understand it’s entirely possible that you just didn’t consider that your sugar-intolerant girlfriend would actually attempt to eat any of it. Rest assured that my definition of “going to town” involved about a half dozen pretzels. Followed promptly by a protein source, because I am still conscious, ta-da! The jar will probably look much as you left it when you return, jetlagged after your long trip, in need of hazelnut comfort.
